Egg donation - my story

[Kimberleyden]

Having being diagnosed with POF at 26 my life was turned upside down. There I was newly married, enjoying life, living & working in London with not really a care in the world. The diagnosis hit me like a brick. My life 'Plan' was down the drain. I thought go to uni; meet a man; get married; buy a home; have kids.... thats were the plan stopped and I felt totally out of control. In an attempt to regain control I threw myself into POF, learning as much as I could, seeing the best doctors and therapists and involving myself with the Daisy Network. However this didnt solve the problem: I wanted children.

POF made me and my husband start thinking about children a lot sooner than we ever intended, knowing the time (well age) made a difference and that the road could be a long one.

We started our journey with IUI - bit pointless really but seemed to be the first thing to 'tick off the list'. The IUI didnt do a thing. In fact I found it really hard. Everytime I went for a scan I was excited to see whether it had worked but it was never going to work (what with being post menopausal), and being told after each scan "no follicle growth" was heartbreaking all over again. Many times I remember walking out of the plush Harley Street clinic feeling sick with hopelessness and crying unconsolably.

Next egg donation - but there was a problem: my husband decided he was morally against it. He even said it was a kind of adultery. We argued and argued and then decided to stop thinking about POF for 6 months and then re-evaluate. But there was a problem: his sister announced her pregnancy. I was devestated all over again and spent a few sessions with a therapist to help process this news. It was after this announcement my husband decieded that pregnancy was important to a women and that he would support egg donation.

Back on the internet again to find a clinic. We decided to look at clinics with egg sharing programmes (where a lady who needs IVF donates some of her eggs if we pay for her treatment). I didnt have a clue really, so ended up choosing one with the shortest waiting list in London. We booked our appointment and went along. Yet another plush doctors waiting room, and 2 hours later we were £8000 lighter and on the waiting list. We were both so excited but knew the wait could be long, so when I got a phone call 2 and a half months later with a donor I was so excited and accepted her straight away. We no cycle to sycronise with her we started treatment the next month. She started her IVF drugs and I started taking a load of hormones: patched, injections, tablets and even * to help blood supply to my uterus!!!

Every step of the way was delicately trod as I was so nurvous about something going wrong. The donor could pull out at any point up to transplanation, she may not have produced enough eggs, my uterus may not be ready enough, no embroys could develop, no embroys could make it to transplanation day..... the list was ended and made me a bit of a wreck, but we got there - transplanation day. The donor produced 18 eggs, we recieved 9, 6 embroys were created and two were implanted.

The outcome - twins! 1 boy and 1 girl and I look back at the last year in ore. Its amazing when I think of the journey we have been on and now we have two beautiful children.

I phoned the clinic to tell them the good news - expecting a rapturous applaud, but I didnt get one. I guess its business for them, but in my opinion it was the most amazing experience. Dont get me wrong the stress levels were unbareable at times, but all I can say is hold on in there - its worth it. The best money I have ever spent.

Shout if you have any questions, and good luck to anyone thinking about egg donation. My thoughts are with you all
x x x

[Saskia]

Hi Kimberley,

I know you posted this a little while ago.. i've been a bit slow off the mark with the new forum.. but i just wanted to say thank you for taking the time out to tell everyone your story.

I will be embarking on IVFDE with eggs from my sister so it's so wonderful for me to hear postive stories about the whole process.

So thank you, it means a lot

Would you mind letting me know which clinic went to?

Saskia xx

[KrystalTipps]

Hi Kimberley,

I'd like to thank you too for sharing your story, and wondered if I could ask something?

Were you 100% confident allways about egg donation and bearing your children? I know I want children and can't decide what that means exactly, whether I want to unite my genes with my husbands, (therefore pursue the positively childless route), bear a child (pursuing egg donation) or raise children (via surrogcy or traditional adoption). Which Plan B, Plan a having expired? I sometimes envy my mother's generation, who had only the grief to bear, rather than that and indecision.

Its interesting that your husband had qualms...

Congratulations - to your and your husband's lucky children

Lindsey

[marley]

Hi Lindsey

Appreciate you are asking Kimberley for her view.
I thought I would let you know we are going through egg donation shortly (having had a cancelled cycle with an egg share donor not long ago). For me it is all about being a mummy. I feel that I will be carrying the baby, and we will bring the baby up and that is the part I dream about. Even now, although I am desparate for a positive pregnancy after IVF, the real goal is a healthy baby at the end of the pregnancy.
I feel confident that although the baby won't have my genes I will be carrying and 'feeding' the baby and a part of 'me' will be part of the baby from day 1. It will be exciting in some ways to see what personality/talents the child has as they grow up!

Wishing you well with your decision.

Kimberley - you mentioned you had injections and patches as well as pills during IVF - do you know why that was? My clinic seems to just prescribe tablets and pessassies for the egg share recipient. Thanks

[KrystalTipps]

Hi Marley,

Thanks so much for that. My husband and I have opened the door to all options - childlessness, egg donation, surrogacy and straight adoption.

I hope to hear more about your experience of egg donation

Bests
Lindsey